Forced to slow down

Everybody always told me that being a full time working mom would be hard, but I had no idea just how hard! I feel like I am always being pulled in so many diffrent directions, trying to keep everyone happy and taken care of, but in my heart I only want to take care of one person...Sawyer. I want to devote all my time and attention to his every need and desire but I often times find myself focusing on other things first. Last week the Lord blessed me by allowing Sawyer to catch an illness that lasted a full week. No you did not read that wrong, I said He BLESSED me by allowing Sawyer to be sick. Now don't get me wrong, I never want my child to feel bad and I hate not being able to take his pain away. But, the blessing came in the fact that I was forced to stop what was going on in the rest of my world and focus on my little love. In fact, the first morning that he was so sick I set my phone in the other room and just held him all morning long. No emails, no work calls, no texts, no worrying about if everyone is where they need to be and doing what they need to do...just snuggle time with Sawyer. Even though he was sick, it was probably the best morning ever! He needed me and I needed to be there for him and I am so thankful to the Lord for giving us that time. While I am being completely honest, I must say that my heart has never longed for being a stay at home mom more than it did last week. Other than that morning, I spent most of the week juggling trying to get work done that had to be done, take care of my little boy that had to be taken care of, and feeling guilty every moment I was working (because I wasn't with Sawyer) and every moment I was with Sawyer (because I wasn't working). By Friday I was so ready for him to feel better just so I could get our lives back in a routine and not feel that guilt anymore. But I was wrong, the guilt never goes away. Every morning that I drop him off I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I am paying someone else to do MY job. I am paying someone else to teach, love, and take care of my child. I know that I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. That is what is on my mind today. I pray every day that the Lord will help me through these feelings and either make it an option to stay home more, or change my heart to handle my current situation better. I have faith and trust that He will get me through this time in my life. It is a WONDERFUL time!!! I wouldn't trade it for anything, just have moments where life gets a little overwhelming. This too shall pass. Thanks for listening!

Sweet prayers

Every night before bed we have a routine...Sawyer picks out a book or two, crawls in bed, gets a drink, and we read stories together. Once we are done reading we pray and thank Jesus for the special things and people in our lives. I always ask Sawyer what he wants to thank Jesus for and he usually names family members and friends that he loves. Last night he was very serious and when I asked him who we were going to thank Jesus for tonight he said, "Ummm, my Nanny...and Mater." If you don't know, Mater is from the movie Cars and apparently he is very important. ha ha :)

Snow Days

Elmo Live

Last year Aunt Barbara bought tickets to take Sawyer to see Elmo Live in KC. He liked it so much that she decided to do it again this year. Now let me clarify, when I say she bought tickets I really mean she bought front row tickets with backstage Meet and Greet time!! He was so excited! He talked about it all the way to KC and didn't stop until we got to the auditorium.

Picture this...

We are sitting in the front row in a room full of about 30 people who have tickets to meet and greet with 2 Sesame Street characters. We don't know who they are going to be but we are told they are on there way in. Sawyer says to me, "Elmo's coming?" And I say, "I am not sure buddy, but I hope so!" He was so excited and anxious. Next thing you know in walks Elmo and Cookie Monster (Sawyer's 2 favorite characters)! Everyone in the room gasps and screams with excitement.

Now here is the part where you expect Sawyer to be full of joy and excitement to meet his 2 favorite characters, right? Well, that is not quite what happened. Sawyer immediately starts screaming in fear and buries his head into my chest. He screams "I go bye bye, I go bye bye!!" I took him into the hall and tried to calm him down with no success. He just was not going to participate in what we thought would be the coolest thing he had ever done. HUGE BUMMER. So we took a picture with them and here it is...

Not quite what we were hoping for!! A nice Sprint Center worker saw how upset he was and let us ride up the employee elevator with her. She gave him snacks and coloring pages to try to cheer him up. It was so nice! It must have worked because he was fine once we got to our seats and once the show started he got to "meet and greet" with almost every character at one point or another during the show. They each came up and shook his hand, high fived him, and even took his Ernie doll up on stage for part of the show (they gave it back). He even went out on the floor stage and danced with Honkers.

It was so fun and he LOVED every second of it (well after the first part was over). I really think he was more scared of the reaction of the people in the room than he was of the characters, but it didn't matter at that point. Overall, it ended up being a success and we are so thankful to Aunt Barbara for her generosity and love!!

Rocky Doggy Wilks

Rocky Doggy Wilks

January 1, 2003-December 30, 2010

We will all miss you!

Ooops...I think I forgot I had a blog!

I know I know, it has been forever since my last blog! Maybe my new year's resolution should have been to keep up with this thing more. Ok, here is a quick recap of what has happened since my last entry. Hmmm, let me think...

1. Christmas! We had a wonderful Christmas and Santa was very good to us. He brought Sawyer his Buzz Lightyear that he wanted and much much more. In fact when Sawyer went to the tree on Christmas morning the first thing he said was, "I no see Buzz." Well, he was there, wrapped and in the back of the pile. He was not as excited as I thought he would be when he finally found him, he just said, " there's Buzz." I think he realized that Santa brought some other really cool things as well and Buzz was just the icing on the cake! Surprisingly the gift that got the biggest reaction was his new guitar, which he plays nightly. Stop by for a concert sometime! :)

2. Sad Goodbye! We had to say goodbye to our "firstborn", Rocky Doggy Wilks, 2 days before his 8th birthday. He came down with herniated disc disease and despite the best efforts of us and his vet we just couldn't get him comfortable and pain free. Instead of seeing him suffer we decided to let him go. It was SO HARD. So much harder than I ever imagined. We will miss him dearly and think of him every day. His sister, Barbie, had a hard time adjusting but is now getting used to being an inside dog and getting all the attention. Needless to say, she is spoiled!

3. New Year's! We spent the New Year's holiday with Chris's family since we spent Christmas with my family. We had a blast with both sides and cherish the time we get to spend with all of them.

4. Elmo Show! Our dear sweet Aunt Barbara bought tickets to take Sawyer to see another Elmo Live show in January. Now this is a blog post all on it's own so I will continue this story later.

5. Snow, Snow, and more Snow! We have enjoyed a lot of beautiful snow this winter. In fact, I am sitting here right now looking at big fat snowflakes, the biggest I have ever seen, out my back window. It is so pretty, but so slick so we are staying put for the day. Pictures to come!

Hope your holidays were as wonderful as ours. Stay warm!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

I love Christmas. No really, I LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEE Christmas! Everything about it brings happiness to my heart. What could be better than taking some time away from the hustle and bustle of life to celebrate the birth of Christ with family and friends? I love the food. I love the quality time. I love giving gifts. I love Santa. All of that is so much fun! But, the part of Christmas that brings the most joy is knowing that God gave us the most amazing gift by allowing His son to be born on this Earth in a manger, and because of that gift we get to celebrate every year and think about all the blessings that gift has brought us over the year. The Christmas story brings goosebumps every time I hear it. It is the most wonderful story ever told!

It has been so fun watching Sawyer get excited for Christmas this year. He likes to talk about baby Jesus and might understand a tad bit that He is the reason for the season, but at his age it is hard to grasp the whole story. However, there is one thing he has a full grasp on...SANTA! He definitely understands who the jolly guy is in the red suit. He also understands that the jolly guy is the one that is hopefully going to bring him the things he wrote on his wish list. What did he ask Santa for? Well, let me show you...

Yes, this is the official wish list that Sawyer gave Santa when he sat on his lap, and yes, he did tell me everything to put on the list. I must clarify though, there is only one thing on this list that he talks about DAILY, and that is Buzz Lightyear. If Santa doesn't bring that gift we might have a sad little boy on our hands. I sure do hope Santa comes through for us! :) We were so proud of Sawyer when he went to see Santa this year. There were no tears!! In fact, now that he has sat on his lap successfully, I think he would do it again and again. He hasn't stopped talking about Santa and his reindeer since that night!

We hope and pray that you and your family have been as blessed as we have been this past year! Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!

Loving Jesus and Waiting for Santa,

The Wilks Family